soul

Last night, my wife and I were talking-really talking- over drinks, when our lovely three year old came upstairs and crawled on my lap. Now, I am the first person to admit just how much I love this, but my schedule hasn’t given me much opportunity to take advantage of this as of late. Even more than this, however, I have had instances where I actually found other things to do rather than stop and take the time to just BE with either of our daughters or my lovely wife: BE understanding, BE patient, BE kind, BE loving.

BE there, no matter what.

So, little Ramona takes her place on my lap, and while I am conversing she nuzzles deep into my chest and turns her head to look up at me. I look down at her, smile and there it is… right there in those stunning blue eyes is her whole future right before me. I don’t, of course, mean anything like proms, college, or her first kiss. I mean her entire being; completely guileless. In her three years and odd months on this earth, I, her father, had never seen this before. I can’t help but wonder if that is the gift a new mother is given when she sees her newborn for the first time; the ability to look deeply into, and see a soul peer back at you. Not existing; being.

Existing in the moment involves an ability to remain calm and open to what life brings you; skills I need to perfect. Or maybe that’s just it. Maybe there’s nothing to actually perfect; nothing that involves the distraction of, or consuming yourself with. Maybe it’s the act of learning to accept things with honesty, openness, and without pretense. Learning to be may just involve the simple act of actually being.